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jesliey:

homosaurus-rex:

homosaurus-rex:

It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.

can we talk about how this is still getting notes

The funny thing is that i can not actually come up with a counter argument for this.

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When getting out of the pool…

sergiovargott:

Expectations:

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Reality:

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  • 40 minutes ago
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witness-protection-with-wings:

witness-protection-with-wings:

so when i was 8 i was in an episode of iCarly and even though i’m 16 now and i have a pixie cut my friends still tell everyone that i was in iCarly.

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i pushed another child off a bench and stole her sandwich this is my legacy

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  • 41 minutes ago
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yesings:

what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party

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  • 42 minutes ago
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allmymetaphors:

whenever i wanna cry i think about Van Gogh he was such a nice and lonely dude all he wanted was for people to love him he ate yellow paint because he thought it would get the happiness inside him oh god oh god that’s so sad i can’t breathe 

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